i wish i knew how to help you, but i cant do anything...
I wish i could give my life to bring him back to you...
If i had one wish thats what i would make.
Because it would be the best for everyone...
what your doing to yourself is hurting all of us and you dont see that.
I just want to hide the booze but you will go any buy more...
I just wish i knew what to do...
you make me and becca worry.
Brian wouldnt like what your doing and you know it...
Im trying to level with you but you dont know what your doing.
I dont want to bring my friends around anymore because its embarassing..
Please, i need to understand.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Goodnight World :) Bonjour Dreams :)
It is 4:03am here in my small beautiful town. It is snowing and i am getting very sleepy. I will say au revoir to you tonight. I have a load of studying i have to do over this weekend and i have three papers to write! AH! Finals week begins monday... Please be nice to my exams :) I hope you have a pleasant night and amazing dreams. :)
Good Night World :)
Bonjour Dreams :)
Good Night World :)
Bonjour Dreams :)
What i Wish i could say: Jamie Zeiher
Brian Zeiher. He was the one person in my life that i found to be a father figure, other then my bumpa who has been here all my life. He was the only guy to ever make my mom happy.
September 15th, 2010: At 5:05pm Brian Zeiher was pronounced Dead at the scene of a car accident. He had fallen asleep behind the wheel of his car while driving home. He crossed the center line and ran head on into a Dump Truck. He was killed instantly.
Dear Jamie,
It has come to my attention that you are contacting my mother, in an attempt to bitch and moan. You were an awful person to Brian. You used him for money, you stole from him, and you treated him like garbage. I know you were stealing from him to feed your drug addiction. I also know that you checked into rehab multiple times, cant hold a steady job, steal from jobs that you do get, and mooch off your boyfriend. I know a lot about you, and all of the horrible things that you put brian through. I don't really care how long you knew him, all i know is that the past 3 years that i spent with him he treated me as his daughter. He cared about me, he watched out for me, and he loved me. He was proud to watch me graduate and even more proud of me the day that i got accepted into the University of Minnesota. If i recall you started college but used all of your money that was supposed to be for school, on clothes and drugs. You are disgraceful. If i ever did that, Brian would turn over in his grave. I would never disappoint him to the degree that you did. On the subject of my mom, If you ever call her a name again so help me god i will track you down and i will do things to you that your couldnt even imagine in your wildest nightmare you stupid fucking disgraceful trash bag of a human being. I dont care that you talk about me, because frankly you know nothing about me, but when you talk about my mother then we have a problem. Brian was my dad, even if we werent related by blood. He will always love me, he will always be proud of me. Its a shame that he could never say any of those things about you, his daughter. I was blessed to have him in my life and i will always be thankful to have known what it is like to have a father in my life. I hope you die in hell for what you put brian through. If i hear that you are talking about my mom, i will find you. Remember that.
Cayla Lund
I would just like to say that this post was written in grief and anger. Even though i make threatening remarks, i wouldn't waste my time actually harming someone who wasn't/isn't worth my time. I do not feel like i need to remove this from my blog but simply add that even though threatening remarks were made, they have no serious enforcement behind them. They are just words. Words meant to hurt emotionally, not physically.
September 15th, 2010: At 5:05pm Brian Zeiher was pronounced Dead at the scene of a car accident. He had fallen asleep behind the wheel of his car while driving home. He crossed the center line and ran head on into a Dump Truck. He was killed instantly.
Dear Jamie,
It has come to my attention that you are contacting my mother, in an attempt to bitch and moan. You were an awful person to Brian. You used him for money, you stole from him, and you treated him like garbage. I know you were stealing from him to feed your drug addiction. I also know that you checked into rehab multiple times, cant hold a steady job, steal from jobs that you do get, and mooch off your boyfriend. I know a lot about you, and all of the horrible things that you put brian through. I don't really care how long you knew him, all i know is that the past 3 years that i spent with him he treated me as his daughter. He cared about me, he watched out for me, and he loved me. He was proud to watch me graduate and even more proud of me the day that i got accepted into the University of Minnesota. If i recall you started college but used all of your money that was supposed to be for school, on clothes and drugs. You are disgraceful. If i ever did that, Brian would turn over in his grave. I would never disappoint him to the degree that you did. On the subject of my mom, If you ever call her a name again so help me god i will track you down and i will do things to you that your couldnt even imagine in your wildest nightmare you stupid fucking disgraceful trash bag of a human being. I dont care that you talk about me, because frankly you know nothing about me, but when you talk about my mother then we have a problem. Brian was my dad, even if we werent related by blood. He will always love me, he will always be proud of me. Its a shame that he could never say any of those things about you, his daughter. I was blessed to have him in my life and i will always be thankful to have known what it is like to have a father in my life. I hope you die in hell for what you put brian through. If i hear that you are talking about my mom, i will find you. Remember that.
Cayla Lund
I would just like to say that this post was written in grief and anger. Even though i make threatening remarks, i wouldn't waste my time actually harming someone who wasn't/isn't worth my time. I do not feel like i need to remove this from my blog but simply add that even though threatening remarks were made, they have no serious enforcement behind them. They are just words. Words meant to hurt emotionally, not physically.
Dusk till Dawn
Its 2:03 am here in the small town of Morris, Mn, where the campus i live on is located. Its the weekend before finals week and you can feel the tension and stress floating everywhere. I, along with my fellow students, am very worried and stressed about the exams but i'm trying to remain calm. I have never been one to write on a daily basis, but i feel like if i started it could be the one thing in my life that remains constant. I'm not the best speller, and i make a lot of grammatical errors, but who cares. This blog is for me to share my life with you, who ever you may be. I would hope that someone out there would become interested in my thoughts and life, but i could be wrong. I am an average human being, though i like to think i am unique from everyone else. I will give you my description of who i think i am:
- My Name is Cayla Joy Lund.
- Previously, Cayla Joy Williams.
- I was born in Duluth, MN
- I almost died with i was a child.
- My birthmark in a bump on my head but i tell everyone that it is the mark on my inner thigh.
- That mark is from when i had the chicken pox.
- I am Vietnamese.
- I am scared of the future.
- I am 18 years old.
- I am a freshman in college.
- I am a straight female.
- I am an art freak.
- I love music.
- I think that bright colors are amazing.
- I would take a coloring book over my cell phone any day.
- I think that love is the most powerful emotion on earth.
- I think that the simple things in life are the most beautiful.
- I make friends too easily.
- I am emotional.
- I am atheist.
- I only want to date someone so people dont think i am lonely.
- I have a hollow heart.
- I have loved.
- I have lost.
- I wish i could stop drinking soda.
- I am more sexually active then i should be.
- No one knows that i have sex.
- I cant tell my best friends a lot.
- I wish i could...
- I dont know how to handle being around people who cry.
- I think i am a bad friend that tries to make up for it by bribary.
- I am lonely.
- I am un-organized.
- I am an amazing person.
- I volunteer.
- I saved someones life.
- I am insecure.
- My boyfriend of 9 months dumped me and a week later was with someone else.
- I was too scared to tell him that i was in love with my best friend.
- I will never tell my best friend how i feel.
- I have a hit list, i will never fulfill.
- I have plans for my future.
- I want to travel the world.
- I want to do amazing things with my life.
- I cant find the motivation though.
- I am easily distracted.
- I am clumsy but i am the most graceful dancer.
- I talk a lot.
- I can be extremely quiet.
- I think that guys in college are way hotter and smarted then guys in high school.
- I used to be emo.
- I spent two and a half years of my life wasting away with depression.
- I cured myself.
- I find inspiration from music and friends.
- My mom is my hero.
- I wish she knew how beautiful she is.
- I miss my dad.
- I wish i could have saved him.
- I wish my mom knew how to grieve without alcohol.
- I will always be myself no matter how hard life gets or what life throws at me.
- I am amazing.
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