Dusk till Dawn

Its 2:03 am here in the small town of Morris, Mn, where the campus i live on is located. Its the weekend before finals week and you can feel the tension and stress floating everywhere. I, along with my fellow students, am very worried and stressed about the exams but i'm trying to remain calm. I have never been one to write on a daily basis, but i feel like if i started it could be the one thing in my life that remains constant. I'm not the best speller, and i make a lot of grammatical errors, but who cares. This blog is for me to share my life with you, who ever you may be. I would hope that someone out there would become interested in my thoughts and life, but i could be wrong. I am an average human being, though i like to think i am unique from everyone else. I will give you my description of who i think i am:

• My Name is Cayla Joy Lund. 
• Previously, Cayla Joy Williams. 
• I was born in Duluth, MN
• I almost died with i was a child.
• My birthmark in a bump on my head but i tell everyone that it is the mark on my inner thigh.
• That mark is from when i had the chicken pox.
• I am Vietnamese.
• I am scared of the future. 
• I am 18 years old.
• I am a freshman in college.
• I am a straight female.
• I am an art freak.
• I love music.
• I think that bright colors are amazing.
• I would take a coloring book over my cell phone any day.
• I think that love is the most powerful emotion on earth.
• I think that the simple things in life are the most beautiful.
• I make friends too easily.
• I am emotional.
• I am atheist.
• I only want to date someone so people dont think i am lonely.
• I have a hollow heart.
• I have loved.
• I have lost.
• I wish i could stop drinking soda. 
• I am more sexually active then i should be.
• No one knows that i have sex.
• I cant tell my best friends a lot. 
• I wish i could...
• I dont know how to handle being around people who cry.
• I think i am a bad friend that tries to make up for it by bribary. 
• I am lonely.
• I am un-organized.
• I am an amazing person.
• I volunteer.
• I saved someones life.
• I am insecure.
• My boyfriend of 9 months dumped me and a week later was with someone else. 
• I was too scared to tell him that i was in love with my best friend.
• I will never tell my best friend how i feel.
• I have a hit list, i will never fulfill. 
• I have plans for my future.
• I want to travel the world.
• I want to do amazing things with my life. 
• I cant find the motivation though.
• I am easily distracted.
• I am clumsy but i am the most graceful dancer. 
• I talk a lot.
• I can be extremely quiet. 
• I think that guys in college are way hotter and smarted then guys in high school. 
• I used to be emo.
• I spent two and a half years of my life wasting away with depression. 
• I cured myself. 
• I find inspiration from music and friends. 
• My mom is my hero.
• I wish she knew how beautiful she is.
• I miss my dad. 
• I wish i could have saved him. 
• I wish my mom knew how to grieve without alcohol. 
• I will always be myself no matter how hard life gets or what life throws at me. 
• I am amazing.